What is this, what am I looking at here? Chicken legs, slightly bent toenail on the right foot. Saaaay... This chicken looks a lot like me- a lot like me. Same ruffled wings, same speckles, runs around in circles in the same stupid way... Heck, the resemblance is uncanny. Every last detail- right down to the airgun BB embedded in the right thigh. Weird. Anyhow, back to business... what was I doing? Oh- right. I was trying to get away from that damned farmer... Thinks he can behead me, does he? Well then... I'll just go to the coop and...Hang on now. Not moving. This is a bad sign. A very bad sign. Did he get me? Stay calm, Timothy. Surely, if you'd been beheaded, you would know by now. Look around at the other chickens. Take your cues from them.... They all look horrified. Not good. Of course, they're chickens. They panic easily. No one has ever made the claim that a chicken is an accurate barometer by which to gauge the severity of one's situation. Don't panic yet. Wait a second... What about that chicken who looked like me? He seemed to have an air of competence, wisdom, and poise about him- where did he go?
Oh, there he is... running around without a head.
Dammit. What an awful day.
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