Thursday, March 15, 2007

Having Been Contaminated By A Jellied Knife, A Jar Of Crunchy Peanut Butter Expresses His Sorrow, Embarrassment, and Outrage Through Haiku

Via butterknife,
My innermost sanctum breached.
Is nothing sacred?

Grape Jelly, a friend-
Has violated my space;
Utter Betrayal.

Pure nut lineage
Sullied by sundry jelly-
Alas! I am shamed.

Segregation fails!
How dare they violate my jar-
Many peanuts cry.

Stirr'd by dirty knives;
No respect for decency-
I will kill them all.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Some gourmands pay big
For this concoction premade
By Jiff in a jar.

J said...

Everyone knows...PB first and jelly last. I can't write a haiku, sorry.

Alex said...

everyone knows that St. Louis is backwards. you have to jam (no jelly, you gays) on one slice, then wipe the excess on the other slice (so it's clean), and then penetrate the peanut butter.
anal retentive chef was based loosely on my cooking style.

said...

Is nothing sacred?
No, nothing is NOT sacred,
nor anything, too