Friday, October 20, 2006

Practical Uses For Super Powers: Ant-man



Ant-Man, for those of you who don't know, is able to shrink to the size of an ant. The following are suggested practical uses for this extraordinary power:

  • Building ships in bottles
  • Extracting splinters (from other people)
  • Hitching a ride to any desired destination in a piece of checked luggage on an aircraft
  • Assisting E.O. Wilson and Bert Holldobler perform vital ant research
  • Utilizing small gulleys and rivulets as awesome waterslides
  • Specialized dental hygiene (poppyseed removal)
  • Harvesting fresh honey from inside beehives
  • Removing tiny shards of broken glass from areas where people walk barefoot
  • Using toothpicks as javelins to spear olives
  • Untying very tight and complex knots in shoelaces
  • Mending wicker furniture
  • Assisting elderly seamstresses to thread needles
  • Exterminating ants in unarmed hand-to-mandible combat

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