To work up the courage to ask for a freebie from CinnaBon.
To save up enough money to purchase an air-conditioned Santa suit.
To spread more holiday cheer than the new SantaTron-2200, a kindly old automaton which has been putting more and more shopping mall Santas out of business in recent years.
To grow enough facial hair before next season to not have to wear the standard issue monofilament beard, which is itchy.
To learn the first and last names of all eight reindeer, thus proving to each and every doubting Thomas that they are indeed sitting on the one true Santa's lap.
To remember to save dry cleaning receipts so that they can be written off as a work expenditure.
To avoid repeating the "Ho ho ha" incident of December 16th, 1997, wherein a misplaced syllable of laughter was responsible for stampede of panicking holiday shoppers and garnished wages.
To make it through all twelve days of Christmas without being urinated upon by a screaming child who "Just wants [his] mommy."
Dear Readers-
You may have noticed by now that Microanalysis has been stagnant for some time. The era of daily updates has passed, and the era of occasional updates seems to have drawn to a close. Regardless- fret naught, dear reader! The very same energies which were once molded and hewn into musings on parasitic wasps, horeshoe crabs, sandwiches, and all other manner of nonsensia and absurium have been diverted towards another project, viewable at PoliceCatHQ.com.
Indubidably, Microanalysis shall return. Patience, my friends, patience...
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