Hopes And Aspirations Of A Shopping Mall Santa

• To work up the courage to ask for a freebie from CinnaBon.
  
• To save up enough money to purchase an air-conditioned Santa suit.
• To spread more holiday cheer than the new SantaTron-2200, a kindly old automaton which has been putting more and more shopping mall Santas out of business in recent years.
• To grow enough facial hair before next season to not have to wear the standard issue monofilament beard, which is itchy.
  
• To learn the first and last names of all eight reindeer, thus proving to each and every doubting Thomas that they are indeed sitting on the one true Santa's lap.
  
• To remember to save dry cleaning receipts so that they can be written off as a work expenditure.
• To avoid repeating the "Ho ho ha" incident of December 16th, 1997, wherein a misplaced syllable of laughter was responsible for stampede of panicking holiday shoppers and garnished wages.
  
• To make it through all twelve days of Christmas without being urinated upon by a screaming child who "Just wants [his] mommy."