Important Moments In Nerdic History

Taken from Nerdic History And Culture, by Isaac Wattleman; Harper Collins (2002).

November 18th, 1976

After severe harassment from the athletic department at Vassar College, astronomy professor Renald Plimpton develops high-waist trousers. The trousers cover underwear waistbands by several inches, thus drastically reducing the risk of wedgies. The wild success of his invention leads nerds everywhere to refer to a failed wedgie attempt as a "plimpton."

August 7th, 1982

Sydney Bergosser, childhood math prodigy and teenaged bane of high school calculus teachers, calculates the precise angle at which to carry books so that they cannot be slapped to the floor. Sydney's achievement, while notable, is quickly overshadowed by the rise in popularity of backpacks and trapper keepers. Currently, Sydney is working for DuPont chemicals, trying to develop a fabric additive which will prevent "Kick Me" signs from adhereing to shirts.

July 24th, 1989

Following an embarassing incident on a badminton court, materials engineer Pyotr Valkersson develops a strap to hold spectacles close to one's face during periods of exertion. The straps enjoy widespread popularity in the Nerdic community, particularly among model rocket enthusiasts and rock collectors.

December 28th, 1995

As the internet rises in popularity, more and more nerds the globe over find financial success as web entrepeneurs. In particular, computer programmer Roman Crowley enjoys overnight success by pioneering the hyperlink. Later, Crowley would go on to develop the massively popular "unsubscribe" link found at the bottom of unsolicited email as well as the massively unpopular pop-up ad.

March 16th, 2002

String theorist and part time marine biologist Emil Winston-Hurvitz is able to combine his two passions with his award-winning "jellyfish diagram" of the components of M-Theory. The diagram is so useful that several noted members of the Princeton Institute For Advanced Study get it tattooed on their chests. Winston-Hurvitz himself, however, declines to receive a tattoo of his celebrated diagram, citing his "longstanding fear of needles" and "general squeamishness."