Hey France... Look, I uh... I just heard what happened- you know, with the Germans sneaking past me through the Ardennes forest and the low countries and I... Well, I just feel awful about the whole thing, and I wanted to talk to you about it. You placed so much trust in me, and to think that I've failed you, well... It just really bothers me, and I couldn't go any longer without pulling you aside and saying something about it. I am so sorry that you got invaded by Germany.
There's no excuse for what happened back there. I was fooled by a German decoy force, but there was this whole thing where I thought it was their main force and... Ehh... I'm rambling. You know the rest of the story- Germany invades you then defeats you at the Battle of France, forcing you to sign the second armistice at Compiègne. In addition to providing significant strategic advantage to Germany, the armistice at Compiègne was a symbolic victory, as they had been forced to sign an armistice there not so long ago. I'm not surprised Hitler had the site destroyed. He seems like the sort of guy who has a hard time letting things go. I'll bet you he had a rough childhood. It's hard to believe somebody like that could be a vegetarian. And that creepy little moustache... Ugh. He really skeeves me out.
At any rate, this whole thing's just been awful, and I can't help but feel at least partially responsible for it all. I mean, you created me for one purpose: to stop Germany from invading, and now Germany has invaded. I am so, so sorry. France, I want you to know that I did all that I could. Every time the Wehrmacht tried to attack one of my grands ouvrages, I stood strong and held my ground. I am loyal to you, France, and would never even dream of giving up a millimeter of French soil without a fight. My only regret is that I am not able to uproot my extensive network of tunnels, forts, and casements so that I might move into a more useful position.
As is, I suppose it is only a matter of time before I am forced to surrender to the Germans. But do not fear, France- they may have my concrete and steel body, but they will never have my heart. Vive La France, I say- Vive La France! Right? ...Ehh... I can tell you're not in a mood to chat, and that's fine. I don't blame you. I'll go back to my post now.... Not that there's much of a point anymore, but life goes on, right? Besides, I'd bet that this whole Third Reich thing is just a passing fad. Germany will get bored with the invasion in another year or two, this whole thing will blow over, and you'll go back to making crepes and croissants again. You'll see. You'll see...
2 comments:
Well, I must say, if France had honored her pact with Czechoslovakia and attacked Germany in support, none of this would have happened.
Poor poor Maginot Line. So out of date and neglected by the time war arrived. You know, this is all really France's fault. And England's, too. And Russia's for signing that nasty little Molotov-Ribbentrop Agreement. That was truly nasty there, Stalin. Just Awful.
If you are going to build a wall, build it the whole way, you pansies!
Post a Comment