Customer Service Survey Regarding All The King's Horses And All The King's Men, As Completed By Humpty Dumpty

Dear Mr. Dumpty-

It has come to the attention of All The King's Horses And All The King's Men that you have recently contacted our help center. It is our goal to provide first class service to our customers. Please help us serve you better by taking just a few minutes to fill out the following questionnaire. As always, we appreciate your business.

Thank you,

All The King's Horses And All The King's Men customer service team

1. Is this your first time contacting All The King's Horses And All The King's Men customer service?
Yes

2. Were our customer service representatives professional and courteous? (If 'no,' please explain)
Yes

3. Did our customer service representatives understand your problem? (If 'no,' please explain)
Yes

4. Were our customer service representatives able to solve your problem? (If 'no,' please explain)
No- I am an egg-man from Worcestershire who fell off a wall and cracked himself. In need of aid, I called All The King's Horses And All The King's Men to put me back together again, and they were unable to do so.

5. Was the transaction handled to your satisfaction? (If 'no,' please explain)
No- I am now a broken egg-man. There is nothing satisfactory about this situation.

6. Would you recommend All The King's Horses And All The King's Men customer service to your friends? (If 'no,' please explain)
No- The fellows who came to my aid, while polite and proper, were wholly inexperienced in the field of egg-mending, and all I needed was to be mended. I can only assume that their ignorance regarding this matter is indicative of a larger ignorance which plagues All The King's Horses And All The King's Men as a corporation at large. Also, I did not have many friends to start with, and the friends that I did have now feel uncomfortable around me because I am constantly leaking either yolk or albumen through the myriad cracks and fissures in my carapace.

7. Overall, how would you rate your experience with All The King's Horses And All The King's Men customer service?
Very poor- Whereas I had once been a proud egg-man, I am now a hobbled and leaky parody of my former self. Had All The King's Horses And All The King's Men been more knowledgable, I may not have had to suffer this cruel fate.

8. We appreciate any additional comments you may have regarding our customer service.
Get bent.

All The King's Horses And All The King's Men would like to thank you for taking the time to complete this questionnaire. Feel free to call our customer service helpline at 1-800-KING-MEN (1-800-5464-636) if you would like to discuss your issue further.