Diary Of A Would-Be Gumshoe

November 18th, 1986
Dear Diary-

I did it! I'm so proud of myself. After a very arduous year of training at the prestigious ACME Detective Academy, I have graduated. The Chief handed me my badge and my papers today, so now I've got official 'Rookie' status. I've even got my first case, and it's a big one- some sticky fingered crook has nabbed the Eiffel Tower. Can you imagine? The Eiffel Tower! How did nobody see them take it? Oh well, I guess that's what I'm here for- to crack this case wide open! That's all for tonight. I've got to get to the airport, as I have to be in Paris tomorrow morning to start gathering clues.

November 20th, 1986
Dear Diary-

What a day! I landed in Paris last night and started looking for clues this morning. As soon as I walked into the sports club, a knife flew in front of my face and thudded into the wall next to me. I was scared silly, but when I phoned back to ACME to ask what was going on, they told me that it was probably just a V.I.L.E. henchman trying to scare me off the trail. Exciting, huh? Anyhow, I found out from the sports club that a suspicious person with blonde hair was asking about kayaking through fjords- initially, I suspected that my target might be headed to the northern countries, but i wasn't certain. Intrigued, I took my sleuthing to the library and found out that another suspicious person was "looking to travel to a country with "a red and blue cross flag." After consulting my World Almanac, I figured out that the crook is headed to Oslo, Norway, and now I'm in hot pursuit! Thank goodness I majored in geography as an undergrad, otherwise this job might be really taxing.

November 21st, 1986
Dear Diary-

V.I.L.E. must really be running scared, because when I got to the marketplace this morning, a gun popped out from behind a curtain and fired a shot at me. I should be laying low, but who can rest when there's so much sleuthing to be done? I went to the Oslo museum today. After asking the very friendly museum attendant if they had seen any suspicious blonde men, I found out that a blonde gentleman who arrived in a limo had been asking about "arthropods of the Sinai desert." Duh! He's going to Egypt. Just to be sure, I asked around the marketplace and found out that a blonde man who rode in a limo and had a tattoo was asking about "Nubian baskets," so off to Egypt I go. I'm going to go through our criminal dossiers on the plane and try to narrow down who my crook might be. Originally I thought it might have been Ertha Brute, but the suspect is a man. I also thought that it could be Nosmo King, but Nosmo King doesn't have a tattoo. I'll have to do some deep digging to get to the bottom of this one. I can't wait to arrest my first V.I.L.E. crook!

November 22nd, 1986
Dear Diary-

What an awful day. I feel like such a fool. I solved the case- I figured out that it was Ihor Ihorovich who stole the Eiffel Tower. His profile lined up exactly with the clues I collected, especially when an airport attendant in Cairo mentioned that a man traveling with a croquet set had been through just a few hours before me. I wasn't thinking straight- I knew that even just one arrest would get me promoted to Gumshoe status, and I rushed into it. I found out where Ihor Ihorovich was staying, so I went over there to slap a pair of handcuffs on him. Stupid me, I had forgotten to get a warrant from the Chief, so I couldn't search him for evidence, and I'm certain that if I had searched him I would have found the Eiffel Tower. Oh, the humiliation! I had Ihor Ihorovich in my sights and he slipped through my grasp, so now the good people of France have lost a monument. No matter. I'm going to learn from my mistakes. V.I.L.E. may have gotten away from me once, but they won't get away again. I'm going to nab them all. Someday, I'll even be the one to put Carmen Sandiego, their ringleader, behind bars. Heh- she'll have to trade in that red trench coat for a striped jumpsuit if I have anything to say about it! I think Chief knows how disappointed I was with the Eiffel Tower caper, because he's sending me out on another assignment next week. It looks like somebody's stolen the Empire State Building, and I'm guessing that V.I.L.E.'s fingerprints are all over it.