A Ghost Explains His Clever And Ironic Halloween Costume

Everybody- could everybody pay attention for a second, please? I've been getting a lot of questions about my costume tonight, and I'm getting tired of explaining it to everybody one at a time, so here it is: I'm dressed as a human who's dressed as a ghost. Okay? Now, I realize that some of you have costumes that are flashier or more elaborate, but none of your costumes are as clever or ironic as mine, for my costume is two costumes in one. Not only am I dressed as a living, breathing human, but that human is in turn dressed as a ghost, which, of course, is what I am to begin with, and a popular halloween costume choice in it's own right. Irony. Look it up.

What could be more clever than my costume? Nothing. Perhaps if Vlad were to show up tonight in plainclothes and claim to be dressed as a human dressed as a vampire, that would have been close, but Vlad instead chose to dress up as Dick Tracy. Likewise, if Brett had showed up tonight dressed as a human dressed as a grotesque chimeric beast with spiders pouring out of its eyesockets, that would also have been close. As is, Brett's choice to wear a light-up Tron suit is amusing in a nostalgic sort of way, but it has neither the irony nor cleverness of my costume. Sasha's Santa Claus costume is somewhat ironic, but in that it does not take into account the fact that Sasha is a werewolf, it is neither as clever nor ironic as it could be.

I may not have spent as much money on my costume as some of you, but please do not write my costume choice off as 'lazy,' or 'easy.' It is not easy to dream up a costume which is as clever or ironic as mine. As simple as it may seem, hours of intense thought and speculation went into my costume choice for tonight. Inherent in my costume are comments on society at large. In dressing as a human dressing as a ghost, I am lampooning the long-held halloween tradition of donning a costume, specifically the stereotypical default "ghost" costume that humans seem to find so endearing. Why should this be the case, my costume asks? What if the roles were reversed? I am mocking the institutions that this holiday is built upon, something that I do not see anybody else's costume doing.

There you have it. I have explained my costume to you all, and I would appreciate it if there were no further inquiries made this evening about my costume. Yes, I made it myself, but no, it was not a 'last minute choice.' I do think that I should win the costume contest, but I don't expect to- artists are never appreciated while they're around, and judging by the glares I am receiving right now, I suspect that I am the same way.